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I'll be the first one to admit I don't know shit about football, and I think
its a pretty lame game, so
once when I was sitting in my room, I had a
brilliant idea that would change the way football was played
forever. First
I would need to be rich. If I ever get rich, and I mean so rich that I can
pay a bitch
to comb my nutsack hairs with her teeth and play the fucking
banjo while shes doing it, im gonna move to alaska and start
a football team
there. I will name them the "Burrrs." The Alaska Burrrs will be my stepping
stone to changing football
rules. Once I had my own team, I would add a guy
with a sniper rile loaded with 5 tranquilizer darts. He would
only get 5
bullets per game so he would have to make them count. He could knock out
people on important plays, take
out a fucking quarterback or something. Each
team would get one sniper under the new rules. Also I would add one guy
called
the "spike end pennyback" He would have a huge spike on the top of
his helmet that he could use to impale guys. If you
had a spike end
pennyback, who the fuck would tackle you? It would probably be the job of
the sniper to take him out.
Each team would have one spike end pennyback
under the new rules. Also each stadium could have special traps. Like the
alaska
feild would randomly let polars bears in, and the players would have
to deal with them. Other stadiums could use quicksand,
or land mines or
something. I Sent these ideas to the bastards that ran the xfl, and they
totally ignored me, well fuck
them, look where the XFL ended up. I bet if
they used my new rules, they would have been the most popular thing since
the
wonder years, or doogie howser M.D.. These are my new rules for
football, if you would like to talk to me about them, hit
me up on aim my sn
is Wafflehurler. Also hot chicks are welcome to tell me how sexy I am.
-Jeremy, future owner
of the Alaska Burrrs
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